I can totally hook you up with a fake I.D.

Recently a group of my (moderately rowdy but incredibly endearing) students inquired what I would be doing over the weekend, when I answered that I was going to my graduation banquet they began to whisper excitedly.

Endearing student #1: “Ms. D, if you want I can totally hook you up with a fake I.D.”

Me: “……. Excuse me”

Endearing Student #1: “You know like a driver’s license but with a fake age”

Me: “Yes, I know what a fake I.D. is, but why would I need one, I'm pretty old?”

(Slightly less) Endearing Student #2: “yeah, way too old”

Now not only am I confused, but mildly insulted.

Endearing Student #1: “We were just thinking that after your grad banquet you could stop by the all-ages club to party with us… but you can’t be older than 18, so we would need to get you a fake I.D.”

The fact that my students wanted me to hang out with them (at a terrible, sleazy, and incredibly inappropriate all-ages club, where drunk 14 year old girls party with high 18 year old boys)  almost outweighed the incredibly illegal activity they were purposing, however I told them I did not think it was a good idea.

My students then dejectedly walk away, and then one of the boys turns and adds,

Endearing student #1: “Ok well if you want to stop by, we will be pre-drinking in the parking lot around 9:30”

My grade 10’s boys are just the funniest; I also now have to avoid that part of town, every night, for the rest of my life. 

D-town babaaayy…

This morning was the best morning of my week.

I was walking down the hall, and glanced into a nearby classroom; I noticed one of my students and smiled in acknowledgment. He proceeded to stand up, in the middle of his teacher's lesson and declare…

“Yo Ms. D, yeaaah D-Dawg, represent D-town babaaayy…"

Now I am not sure how most responsible and civilized teachers would respond, but in that moment I chose “yeaaah git it”….

…

What does that even mean? I then realized that the teacher and the ENTIRE class was now staring at me, so to save myself I added , “sit yourself down”, and walked quickly away. I am now planning on avoiding that hallway, those students, and the staffroom for the remainder of the week. 

In a nutshell...

Historically, I have had a deep dislike of blogs, and an even deeper distrust of bloggers. I could not understand why anyone would constantly, and consistently, update strangers on the inner-most details of their life.

But this year something changed.

Deeply funny things began happening, the type of things where you need to tell as many people as soon as you can. There are stories to tell, quotes to remember and events to archive, and blogging about it seemed the most logical choice.  

Plus my wonderful and wildly influential roommate talks about her deep love of blogging quite openly, frequently and loudly. 

So, my life in a nutshell…

1) I hate wearing dress pants and shoes

2) I am a teacher

3) Teachers are required to wear dress pants and shoes

4) I love Jesus

5) East Van is the one place I always feel I belong

6) I love youth (the more ghetto and gangsta the better)

7)I love roots, trees, moss and grass

7.5) I would be quite content to spend the rest of my life telling rowdy ghetto youth about Jesus and trees!

6) I once took a class in soil chemistry (it was my favorite)

7) Lists are essential if I want to get anything accomplished

8) I like Organic and Fair-Trade groceries

9) My students call me "Ms D"

10) Hilarious things happen and are said to me almost every day as I try to reconcile my inner gangsta-hippy with my newfound life as a high school teacher.